My Favorite Birthday Gift

Presented to me a few months ago by Lauren and Adam:

Our whole family is thrilled, of course.

And we were informed yesterday that it's a boy (due in May)!

Thanks for your prayers and good wishes.

The Vows Are Taken

It was a joyful, reverent nuptial mass.  The reception was delightful.*  The weather wasn't perfect, but that's okay.  We're winding down from a phenomenal weekend.

Above is the only picture I have so far.**  More to come, I'm sure.  Literally thousands were taken on Saturday.  Lauren enlisted three of her Aegean Center friends to photograph the day.  The first memory card to be downloaded held over 1200 shots!

It is such a blessing to have my daughter married to a good man, beginning a new life filled with love and hope.  We parents dream of the best for our children.  I'm incredibly happy that these two have found it in each other.

*My children registered shock (Joe's face was priceless) at my dancing; not sure whether it was due to my lack of inhibitions or absence of skill.   ;-)
**Not sure if it will work for you, but when I click on the picture, it appears larger and sharper.

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me #7

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My husband believes I'm beautiful and tells me so.  This should probably count as a double gift!  Most women aren't 100% satisfied with their looks, and I'm no exception.  Yet I don't doubt Len's sincerity when he compliments me.  It's important for me to feel attractive to him, and it's such a relief that he doesn't require my physical perfection.  (His acceptance is beneficial to my overall self-esteem, too.)

This week I've been celebrating some of the ways Len shows his love for me.  Paying attention to his gestures makes me appreciate my husband more than ever.  I highly recommend making the effort!

Expressing my love in the ways that reach him best is a related topic.  If you haven't investigated the concept of love languages yet, grab a book from your library.  We've read The Five Love Languages of Children and found it both fascinating and helpful for understanding each other as well as our children.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me #6

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I don't always feel like an interesting person.  It's easy for me to get caught up in the mundane details of life at home.  Yet even when I'm not discussing a new book, idea, spiritual concept, or current event, Len listens to me.

He pays attention when I gripe about school for the zillionth time.  He appears interested when I explain why I'm dissatisfied with my latest attempt at Sunday gravy or what makes my newest coffee cake kit so wonderful.  As I drone on about laundry, driving logistics, chores, or cooking, my husband really listens.

That's just one more reason I know he loves me.  <3

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me #5

image source dryicons.com

As I've spent time celebrating how Len shows his love for me, acts of service keep coming to mind.  He is a handy, DIY guy, so many of the projects he undertakes could arguably be for the good of our family or home, or for his own satisfaction.  There are some, though, that are done for love of me.  A few examples:

When I saw an ad for a pantry door organizer, he bought and installed it.  For me.

We've been fostering Lauren's cat for over a year now.  Now that we've cat-proofed as best we can, life with Lucca has mellowed considerably.  The last real annoyance was the baby gate we were using to keep Dusty away from the litter box and Lucca's food.  It was a hassle to step over, and wasn't easy for the shortest people to open or climb over.  I make many trips through that door to the mud room and garage.

My darling built a gate.  It's shorter than the old one

 and has a latch easy enough for everyone to use.

This project benefited everyone, but I know who it was made for.  :-)

Then there's the gift of light.  Len bought and installed (it was tricky) it, including my favorite bit--

--the switch I can reach while snuggled under the covers.

Being My Valentine: How I Know He Loves Me #4

image source: DragonArtz Designs

There are countless things about Len that make me love, respect, and admire him, but I'm spending the week before Valentine's Day celebrating how he shows his love to me.

Now and then he'll call or email me from work to let me know he's thinking of me.  Len's a veterinarian without a lot of desk- or down-time, so a mid-day message is a rare treat that never fails to make me smile.

I know there are many damaged or broken relationships out there, and I know hugs and phone calls aren't enough to build a strong marriage.  That takes time, and work, and God's grace.  And yet.  These little acts, these small signs, do build us up and bind us together a bit more tightly.  Thank you, darling!

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me #3

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Does your husband love you?  I'll bet he does.  How he expresses that may or may not be obvious to you, but I believe you'll find his messages if you look for them.  And when you "read" his "I love you" actions or words (especially if you didn't pay attention before), you're doubly rewarded.

There are countless things about Len that make me love, respect, and admire him, but I'm spending the week before Valentine's Day celebrating how he shows his love to me.

I know he cares when he rubs my shoulders or back for no obvious reason.  He reaches out to touch me as we pass each other throughout the day.  And my husband kisses me goodnight every single day--even if I'm grumpy or already asleep.  What a wonderful man!

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me #2

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There are countless things about Len that make me love, respect, and admire him, but I'm spending the week before Valentine's Day celebrating how he shows his love for me.

For one thing, he tells me so.  I certainly appreciate hearing him say, "I love you," but his written words touch me even more deeply.

When I spy an envelope from my husband, I know I'm in for a treat.  His words of appreciation, tenderness, or encouragement warm my heart and put a smile on my face.  Yes, words of affirmation is another of my love languages.  Len knows that and offers me something special . . .

. . . because he loves me.

Being My Valentine--How I Know He Loves Me

image source dryicons.com

There's a lot to love about my husband, and I do.  He is loving, intentional, and attentive.  He is fun, serious, and thoughtful.  He is an outstanding provider, family leader, and friend.  Etc., etc., etc.

I've been thinking, though, not about why I love him, but about how I know he loves me.  He gifts me with these signs, and I want to spend the week before Valentine's Day reminding myself (and you, I suppose) of a few of them.

Len understands that one of my love languages is acts of service.  Once I casually mentioned how much I admired a neighbor's lantana flowers and how pretty some would look around the base of our mailbox.  THAT DAY he went to the nursery, bought a set, and planted them.

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He loves me!

Little Women on Love and Ambition

As the girls and I continue listening to Little Women (17 cd's!), I'm (not surprisingly) relating more to Marmee than I did before my own mothering days.  We certainly share many of the same hopes for our children.

Here is Mrs. March responding to her two oldest about some hurtful gossip they've overheard:

   "I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send.  To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman; and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience.  It is natural to think of it, Meg; right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it; so that, when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy.  My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world,--marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting.  Money is a needful and precious thing,--and, when well used, a noble thing,--but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for.  I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace."

And later, speaking about whether she'd rather have her daughter marry a rich man:

   "Money is a good and useful thing, Jo; and I hope my girls will never feel the need of it too bitterly, nor be tempted by too much.  I should like to know that John was firmly established in some good business, which gave him an income large enough to keep free from debt and make Meg comfortable.  I'm not ambitious for a splendid fortune, a fashionable position, or a great name for my girls.  If rank and money come with love and virtue, also, I should accept them gratefully, and enjoy your good fortune; but I know, by experience, how much genuine happiness can be had in a plain little house, where the daily bread is earned, and some privations give sweetness to the few pleasures.  I am content to see Meg begin humbly, for, if I am not mistaken, she will be rich in the possession of a good man's hart, and that is better than a fortune."

One Better

Angie at (in)courage has written an inspiring essay about challenging ourselves to grow:

" . . . in my head I heard the words, “You can do one better.”

. . .

I’m not saying it’s easy, but these two words have helped me make some really good and life-giving choices over the past several weeks…

One better."

Read the whole thing here.  Thanks to Elizabeth for linking to this.

Milestones

Today we celebrated the ribbon cutting ceremony at the clinic's new location.  The mayor and chairman of the Board of Supervisors were both in attendance, and seemed to enjoy their tour of the building.

I don't have a picture of the actual severing, as I was part of the group of onlookers.

In other news, our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up this month!  Sometime between last year and now, I passed the married-for-half-of-my-life mark.  How's that for wonderful?



New Year's News

The call came soon after midnight.

On his knee in Central Park, Adam proposed and Lauren accepted.  Just like that, they're engaged!

We don't have many details yet:

• The ring is beautiful, with a diamond and two sapphires (their birthstone) set in white gold.
• A summer 2012 wedding is planned.
• Some of their friends knew what was coming, so photos were taken.
• Lauren and Adam are happy, happy, happy, and so are we.  If we didn't think he was a great guy, he wouldn't have been invited to attend our last two family reunion/vacations.

CONGRATULATIONS to all of us!

fireworks in the court

Anniversary Date

Although our (24th!) anniversary was last month, we postponed our celebration until this past Sunday. We had planned to view a special exhibit at the Corcoran ("Turner to Cezanne"), but it closed suddenly due to ventilation issues. Waah! Len was, perhaps, not as heartbroken as I. ;-)

We had also planned a visit to the National Arboretum, so that became a bigger piece of our outing.

First we attended a demonstration of ikebana, Japanese flower arranging. Like many other types of art, it combines mechanics/crafting as much as artistic vision. Here are some samples from the follow up exhibit:This Chinese chrysanthemum stone was never technically alive, but isn't it gorgeous? It's over three feet tall! The flower pattern was formed by mineral crystals in mud that became the dark limestone.There was also a Japanese stone of denser rock with many, smaller chrysanthemums. There's always something new and amazing to discover in this world!

We browsed through the camellia show. I found that I have a strong preference for multi-ruffled, variegated pink blooms like this one:Finally we began walking around the extensive grounds. Even with parking filled up, the arboretum felt spacious and quiet.

The azaleas will be at peak bloom in a few weeks. Most of them looked like this although a few were showing off.The weather was perfect--mild and sunny--as we enjoyed the Asian gardens.Below is viburnum. Won't it be beautiful when all the blooms open? I love their simplicity of shape, texture, and color.Big bee, little bloom:Little bee, big bloom:Then it was time to relax on a shady patch of lawn. Some dozing, some reading, crossword puzzling, and some visitors? These guys must have been falling from a tree. I saw one, but Len found two then three then many on his shirt and finally NECK before we moved on...

We were hungry by then, anyway, so it was off to Jaleo, a fabulous tapas restaurant in DC. The weather was perfect for eating outside; we even encountered friends from the boys' school who were on their way to the theater. Six small plates and two desserts later, we were on our way to Grammy and Grandpop's house to pick up the little girls. What a grand day!

The plants were lovely and dinner was delicious, but the company was best of all. Thanks, honey (for Sunday and the past 24 years).

Date Night

Yes, we're an old married couple. Date night started with . . . Confession? You know, it's hard to make time for all kinds of maintenance in a busy family, so cleaning our souls was a good use of part of our set-aside time.

Then it was dinner at Bonefish Grill--yum! As good as the food was the conversation, one without logistics (who is driving where when, which child needs a dentist appointment, that sort of thing).

Instead of a restaurant dessert, Len and I bought ice cream and took it to the pond. We ate it there at dusk with a few other park-goers and many residents: geese, a beaver, bats, fireflies, water striders, and frogs.

And last, home to a (relatively) quiet house. We could have played a game, but watched a movie instead.

Re-connecting can only happen when we make time for each other. Spending money (eating out, going to a show) is pleasant enough, but it's the TIME and the company that make a great date. It's a little easier in summer, but the effort is worth it any time of year. Plan some hours for just you and your spouse--put it on your calendar today!

The Question

A while back Ann wrote about the question she asked her husband, and I decided to try it for myself.

Len answered with two simple ideas, not even surprises. They're acts I've known he appreciates, but hadn't been doing consistently (or even often). I've been consciously trying to follow through this week.

It's all about mindfullness. There's always room for improvement. Good can keep getting better.

Are you willing to ask?

Anne's post is lovely and thoughtful, but if you just can't make the time to get over there, her question was, "How could I be a better wife to you?" Thanks to Elizabeth for pointing to it.

Sucker Punched

I just found out about another marriage ending in divorce. I didn't even know this one was in trouble. Many years, several children--it's so sad! My marriage is wonderful, praise God, but I know too many that are full of pain and anger. Please pray for couples in difficulty. Thank you.

Let There Be Light

For years I've been wistfully wishing (the truth? grumpily griping) for better lighting in our bedroom. We have a nice, bright floor lamp, but the bedside lights were small, low, and too dim for my aging eyes. We've discussed solutions and Len has even shopped in the past, to no avail.

We concluded a recent date night with a trip to Lowe's, determined to spend some anniversary money (thanks, Mom and Dad!) on bedroom lighting. There were surprisingly few choices that met our needs for brightness, wall mounting, etc. We finally settled on this four-bulb fixture; it's a little more modern than our room, but that's okay.Originally all four bulbs were linked, but my clever husband fiddled with the wires to create two light zones. Now one of us can read while the other slumbers peacefully...The attic over the garage is behind the wall, so Len was able to install the lighting without any unsightly cords showing. (Talk about the bonus round--when I married him, I had no idea he is so HANDY!) But check out the photo below for my favorite feature:Look, look, look! My own lightswitch for my lights, and it's within reach of my pillow! Oh, happy day (night?)!

Love: It's All About the Little Things

Which one of these would you rather carry around in your pocket?My Dusty-walks are early enough that for many months I need a flashlight to fulfill my pick-up duties. I let some boys use my little one at Daniel's birthday party, and it ended up broken. Ever since, I've had the gargantua version sticking out of my pocket, battery clanking as I walk. Obviously NOT a big deal, but not as nice as before.

A few nights ago, my knight handed me a brand new, tiny light. Just because.

Love--it's all about the little things.

A Challenge

"We can do no great things; only small things with great love."
--Mother Teresa

Not loving so well these days...