For a few years now I've been flipping out about my approaching 50th birthday.
Thirty felt young--for goodness sake, my first baby was barely a year old then.
And 40 was no big deal. Heck, I had a baby at 43!
- For the first time ever, I was embarrassed to state my age.
- I dreaded becoming lonely and frail (despite the fact that the older generation of my family is busy and cheerful).
- I worried about becoming insignificant/obsolete, having my children outgrow me. They are a huge part of my life. Would I stop mattering as they naturally and rightly mature and move on?
Fifty didn't equal elderly to me, but it felt like the beginning of the end.
So what changed?
I had been reflecting on discerning and following God's will, and on those who abandon themselves to Him. Blogposts and In Conversation With God nudged my mind.
For ages I've believed myself committed to doing God's will if only I know what it is. But how do I know?
Go ahead--laugh. I think I did, too! ;-)
Yet that simple idea has turned my attitude around. God wants me to live, and live for Him.
If any of my fears become reality, so be it. I can cope and offer up any hardship.
Growing old, like growing up, is meant to be. Happy birthday to me!
Photos taken by Lauren during our June vacation in the Smoky Mountains.